this is pretty cute! the writing could use some work, the choice of tense makes the prose a bit awkward and the descriptions can be meandering. the dialogue suffers from being a bit too chatbox-y as well. the game is carried by very evocative art though, and the characters are solid, true to life among freaky queers. keep at it! writing's hard but you'll get there!
Out of curiosity, what do you mean by "the choice of tense makes the prose a bit awkward"? As far as I can tell, this is written in third-person past tense, similar to the vast majority of popular fiction.
as a little online queer freak these characters are exceptionally well written to emulate the type of dynamic going on in those online spaces its so cool!!!1!! fantastic little story
THANK YOU SO MUCH. I like the idea of finding comfort in an environment or world that sucks so I'm glad that comes across.... I love all your work so this means a lot hahaha.
sincerely love this. ash and ven are a joy to spend this journey with and are both instantly recognizable to anyone who spends time in certain circles. it was really wonderful to get to see this kind of relationship and these kind of characters portrayed so well and with so much affection for them. your art is also exceptional.
OH MY GOD thank you so much.........I really wanted them to come across as the kind of people players might find familiar with if they hang out in weird queer online spaces.....I'm so glad you liked them and the game.....ty >.<
This was a very lovely little story...The artwork was very appealing to look at and the characters were very cool and cute. Very interesting. Everything is very pretty. I hope there's more with these two in the future, I like them a lot.
I really enjoyed getting to experience this day of Ash's and Ven's life. The little adventure and the connection they shared was such a wonderful time and reading stories like this where I can relate to both characters makes me so happy. The pixel art is really great and lively too. Just an all around positive experience. Thanks for making this!
This was a really delightful experience. The vibe was very well crafted, the characters had an enjoyable dynamic and that nsfw scene was well written. Honestly really liked the line "They wanted to accept being true to how they feel", it felt very genuine and hit with me. I would love a longer game with these two as protagonists, feels like there is so much to explore in their dynamic and emotional landscapes.
All in all: really liked this, thank you for making and sharing it!
This was extremely cute, familiar and just all around great feelings. I love Ash and Ven so much, you did a great job writing their separate personalities, and how they function as a pair. Also of course I gotta mention, that short sex scene was hot AF.
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this is pretty cute! the writing could use some work, the choice of tense makes the prose a bit awkward and the descriptions can be meandering. the dialogue suffers from being a bit too chatbox-y as well. the game is carried by very evocative art though, and the characters are solid, true to life among freaky queers. keep at it! writing's hard but you'll get there!
Out of curiosity, what do you mean by "the choice of tense makes the prose a bit awkward"? As far as I can tell, this is written in third-person past tense, similar to the vast majority of popular fiction.
honestly i think i know what they mean, i wrote half the game in present tense and then changed it to past so some of it sounds really weird lol
i also mean that past tense is a bit clunky for visual novels, given that the player can "see" things happening in real time.
as a little online queer freak these characters are exceptionally well written to emulate the type of dynamic going on in those online spaces its so cool!!!1!! fantastic little story
i am immensely attracted to ven
The vibes are immaculate and the art is really pretty; love the colour palette too. I really enjoyed it, thank you for creating it!
WAHHHH thank you so much ;-;
aww, this was so fucking sweet and earnest (and relatable) and cute, with nice little melacholy ruined world feel, genuinely perfect!
THANK YOU SO MUCH. I like the idea of finding comfort in an environment or world that sucks so I'm glad that comes across....
I love all your work so this means a lot hahaha.
sincerely love this. ash and ven are a joy to spend this journey with and are both instantly recognizable to anyone who spends time in certain circles. it was really wonderful to get to see this kind of relationship and these kind of characters portrayed so well and with so much affection for them. your art is also exceptional.
thank you for making it.
OH MY GOD thank you so much.........I really wanted them to come across as the kind of people players might find familiar with if they hang out in weird queer online spaces.....I'm so glad you liked them and the game.....ty >.<
This was a very lovely little story...The artwork was very appealing to look at and the characters were very cool and cute. Very interesting. Everything is very pretty. I hope there's more with these two in the future, I like them a lot.
Wahh!!! I'm glad you liked it....I might come back to them but I have so many characters on the go in my head.....I do like these two though...
Cute and well written characters :)
Wahh....thank you....
Can there be a drawn sex scene in a future update?
Maybe >.<
I really enjoyed getting to experience this day of Ash's and Ven's life. The little adventure and the connection they shared was such a wonderful time and reading stories like this where I can relate to both characters makes me so happy. The pixel art is really great and lively too. Just an all around positive experience. Thanks for making this!
THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! Wahhhh...That means a lot, I'm glad you liked it...
This was a really delightful experience. The vibe was very well crafted, the characters had an enjoyable dynamic and that nsfw scene was well written. Honestly really liked the line "They wanted to accept being true to how they feel", it felt very genuine and hit with me. I would love a longer game with these two as protagonists, feels like there is so much to explore in their dynamic and emotional landscapes.
All in all: really liked this, thank you for making and sharing it!
THANK YOU wahh....honestly in hindsight it feels a little hammy to me. But I'm glad it resonates with people...
This was extremely cute, familiar and just all around great feelings. I love Ash and Ven so much, you did a great job writing their separate personalities, and how they function as a pair. Also of course I gotta mention, that short sex scene was hot AF.
Really, really enjoyed this!
Wahhhhhhh thank you so much ;-; I'm glad people enjoy reading about these two.
This is the good shit. Like the vibes, comforting and familiar
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it